Today, being the 1st, is medication day for Sophie. On the 1st of every month, she gets her heart-worm preventative and her monthly flea medicine. Sophie is on a diet. The vet yelled at me the last time I was in, describing Sophie as "looking like she swallowed a watermelon." I resented this. First of all, dogs (and other things such as babies or cats with tiny heads) are cuter when they are round. Second of all, I thought the vet would understand that she has a lot of skin, which adds at least a few pounds to her heft. I mean. Can he not SEE how much skin she has? She is all jowly and wrinkly-necked and the amount of skin causes her to have the droopy eyes of a bloodhound. Plus, when she walks, her skin rolls from one side of her body to the other giving her an especially attractive swagger. Anyway, all of this being said, Sophie is on a diet and not allowed any treats or human food. Therefore, she LOVES getting such delectables as heart-worm preventative pills or ice cubes. The flea medicine, she does not love so much. It comes in this little tube, which I have to apply at four points on the skin along her spine. This is more difficult than it sounds considering she now senses when something unpleasant is going to happen and proceeds to gallop around the house until I can horse-collar her and throw her to the ground. Once the medicine is applied, it ends up spreading across her back in this greasy streak, as shown below. Also, scant readers, you can use this picture to inspect and form your own opinion as to the presence of any sort of watermelon.This streak will stay for a couple of days before it is either absorbed into her plentiful skin or rubbed off on my furniture. And then. It is not only gross and greezy ('z' added for special disgusting emphasis), but it makes her smell like celery, which because my house is sequestered from all fresh air in order to run the air conditioning and keep it freezing cold, it also makes my house smell like celery. Celery times 20 too, like MSG-loaded cream of celery soup. Also, because she is about due for another bathing, this smell also includes a Frito garnish. It is strangely making me crave a Bloody Mary.
