First off, I’m already hungry
knowing what I’m about to type at you.
I love the Food Network. I am
an avid watcher. I always stop flipping through the channels once I see Guy
Fieri stuff his big face into some greasy mound, or I see someone (stupidly) try
to beat Bobby Flay, or I see any glimpse of mad scientist Alton Brown. I also love
watching competition cooking, but I always wondered if performance in
competition was anything akin to the quality of the chef, especially since most
chefs aren’t given 20 minutes to try and slap something together from gummi
bears and kale in some random Chopped basket. I’m not sure of the pecking
order, but if I had to guess, I’d assume Iron Chefs were the most elite of the chefs
in any cooking competition. Iron Chefs are the rock stars of the cooking world.
I just learned that Chef Michael Symon has the best win percentage on Iron Chef
at a whopping 82%. Such a statistic would seem to suggest that Michael Symon is
a rock god, like a culinary Keith Richards… But does that mean anything?
I’m quite willing to say,
ABSOLUTELY. Michael Symon belongs on a pedestal.
My previous favorite restaurant
I had basically identified as the whole city of New Orleans. NOLA is so
wonderful that it’s hard for me to nail down one place, but if I were at
gunpoint, I’d choose John Besh’s August. I could go on for hours about NOLA
(crab cheesecake, holy crap), but this is about my NEW favorite. I was in
Cleveland last weekend with the manfriend, who is also an avid Food Network
watcher and HUGE Michael Symon fan. In order to save a few bucks, we went to
Lolita rather than the more expensive Lola for our Michael Symon experience. We
decided to order a bunch of smaller plates rather than entrees so we could get
more stuff to shove in our mouths. We also (now looking over our choices) were
feeling particularly carniverous. Here is what we got:
- · Roasted Bone Marrow – meyer lemon, parsley, radish, chili, sourdough
- · Mixed Green Salad (manfriend always has to get a salad) – radish, grana padano, red onion, sherry viaigrette
- · Cured Meats Big Board – 8 house cured meats
- · Crispy Pig Tails and Ears – fennel-onion agrodolce, pickled chilies, cilantro
- · Crispy Chicken Livers – soft polenta, mushroom, bacon
- · Fried Brussels Sprouts – caper, anchovy, walnut
First of all, let me say that
we got a couple of beers and a bottle of wine and our bill was $100. I think
one entrée at August would run you $35, so there’s that.
Second of all, there was not
ONE thing listed above that wasn’t absolutely stellar. Every time I took a
bite, I had to go through an involuntary BIG O face before I could even
swallow. However, I want to highlight two things above. I’ve never had pig
tails and ears. Maybe you’re thinking these are just the scrap parts. Maybe you
are thinking I am gross for ordering these. You better get rid of that attitude
right now, you snob. Pig is delicious, and apparently ALL pig parts are
delicious. These were so perfect. You bit into an ear and it was this light,
crisp exterior that gave way to this melt of fatty goodness. Pork belly?
Psshhhht. Bacon? Getouttahere. This is the best chunk of pig I’ve ever had.
Michael Symon, you just blew my mind. Now, I want to move on to the brussels
sprouts, which the man informed me were on Aaron Sanchez’s list as the best
thing he ever ate, fried. I mean, really, BRUSSELS SPROUTS? Again, lose the
attitude. YES, REALLY. I can honestly say (with maybe the aforementioned crab
cheesecake a close second) I have never put anything this good into my mouth.
EVER. They are fried in lard (God bless you , Michael) and come with this tangy
vinaigrette so you get this fatty, buttery taste that is cut through with this sauce…
well, the sauce has capers in it. I shouldn’t have to say anything more. I must
learn how to make these. One year for Thanksgiving, I made a dish with brussels
sprouts and bacon for the family. It was gobbled down quickly. I was all proud
of myself. I was naïve. In fact, I now think that if a brussels sprout doesn’t
pass through Lolita, then it will have given its life for naught.
I have tried to put a chubby
girl’s words into the above. I can’t even explain. I just can’t. There are no
words for this type of experience. I’ve fallen in love. I would move to
Cleveland. Yes, CLEVELAND to have this food even once a month. Michael’s show Burgers, Brew, and Cue just started up
on the Food Network. Since I’m now in love with him, I recorded it and watched
it, mouth agape, in a stunned awe of someone who could create something so full
of joy.
Please, please look him up
and go to one of his restaurants. NOW, you fools!
And, no, I wasn’t on drugs
during any of this experience.
Chubby girl out.
