Sophie's New Toy

I went over to my aunt's last night to see my baby cousin. I brought Sophie with me, maybe not the best idea since most of my time was spent trying to keep her from giving the baby slobber kisses. After dinner, we all went for a lovely evening stroll in the shade of the bountiful elms lining my aunt's street. Um. Not. Our walk lasted maybe five minutes before I gave up and ran back to the house for safe cover in the air conditioning. It took me twenty minutes to stop sweating. Stupid lousy weather. I hate it. Grumble. Ahem. Anyway, I am not only sick of the weather, I am sick of bitching about it. The point is, my aunt gave Sophie a new toy for her to take home. Pictured below is Sophie happily chewing on said toy.

As you can see, scant readers, this toy is MOST exciting. First of all it is soft and cute, which means it should last her all of ten minutes before it is ravaged and strewn about my floor in little cow bits. Second of all, and I can not make this readily apparent in the picture, but this toy is literally gorged with various obnoxious squeak items. Each one of those checks has a squeak. The legs squeak AND the head squeaks. This does not make for good sleep preparation. I was reading, trying to get to sleep last night and she was playing some horrendous squeak-cow-jazz-sonnet at the foot of my bed. Finally, I took the toy away from her. She sat at the base of my dresser staring at it and looking all pathetic and miserable, until she noticed that I wasn't paying much attention and gave up. I finally fell asleep, and had wonderful dreams in which Sophie did not own such a beast of a toy. I woke up this morning to the sound of her huffing puke noise. HORK! HORK! HORK! She puked up fluffy cow bits right in the doorway to my bedroom. Although she did have two infections recently, not to mention a horrible case of fleas from being outside at a bonfire in Bloomington, I had not had to clean up puke in awhile, so I let this one slide.

Now, I am sitting on my couch, catching up on news after having had dinner. I had given Sophie her toy when I got home from work, and she has been chewing and squeaking and rendering asunder all night. Finally, the squeaking just stopped. When I go to look to see what had happened, I find this. Here is a picture of the carcass. You can't really tell, but the cow is missing one of it's feet and it's tail, as well as four or five of the plastic squeaky innards. Oh, and if you look carefully, you can see bits of green fuzz strewn about, which I believe she ripped from the cow's head. Such carnage. Where is Sophie? Well, after striking down with great vengeance and furious anger upon this hapless (albeit annoying) cow toy, she apparently got bored and is now sitting on a rug in another room chewing on a peanut butter flavored bone. Now, I have to go pick up these fluffy green bits and deflated plastic squeaks. I will keep the empty cow hide in case she becomes interested later, but I have a feeling that this pitiful thing has served its purpose.