Total Lack of Cat Bias

OK, so, you're right. My cats do deserve some of the limelight. They are hilarious as well and insanely smart. Although, by smart, I mean diabolical and plotting my death. This is the alpha cat, Chicken. He is six years old. In this picture, he is chewing on a vase full of fake flowers as I am sitting not two feet away yelling at him to not chew on the flowers. He is an asshole. He knows perfectly well what I am saying. He is pristine, constantly cleaning. He will also do whatever possible to annoy the crap out of me. He likes to escape into the garage and hide under my car. My garage is like a sauna right now, but I still go crawling around after him getting all dirty and sweaty until I give up and go inside. The second I shut the door, he begins squawking. He then comes back in all dusty brown (somehow), looking pissed at me that due to my negligence, he now has to go clean himself again. He is going to be famous someday.